Island pair adds CD kitsch to 'Net line

ALAMEDA - The "kooky kitsch" couple from Alameda, are no longer just selling cheap and tasteless collectibles on the Internet. Now they're hawking somber, shmaltzy music on a newly released compact disc that is just as fun and tawdry as the junk they sell online. "Meshugga Beach Party," 16 songs of the chosen surfers, is produced by Mel Waldorf, a 31-year-old software engineer and surf guitar player for almost two decades. The album combines many favorite Jewish melodies with the fun, retro-cool sounds of surf music. It also follows the same general rules the couple uses for judging their collectibles: if it makes them laugh and it's in somewhat bad taste, it's a go. "I was just waiting for the light bulb to go off," said Waldorf, who sells kitsch with his wife, Jessica Lindsey, 37. "I've been a fan of surf music for 15 or 16 years - I was hooked by Hawaii Five-O at an early age - and I've been a Jew my whole life. So putting the two together made sense." The instrumental arrangements feature electric guitars, piano, organ, bass and drums, and the occasional holler for good measure, said Waldorf, who plays all the instruments except drums. Lindsey, who he met on a Jewish Internet dating service about five years ago, helps out with the hollers and general "carrying on," he said. Along with playing music, Waldorf has worked with his wife to amass everything from retro lunch boxes to gravel art pictures and velvet paintings to bad TV memorabilia. But it wasn't until last year that Waldorf started serious work on the Jewish surf songs. "The most challenging part was arranging the songs, making them work with the instruments," he said. "Some songs are so repetitive, sometimes I had to put a drum break in the middle." Waldorf said the melodies range from "boisterous to melancholy, from somber to shmaltz." "They seem to transition so well from the bar mitzvah to the beach," he writes on the CD flap. And though he admits it's been a long time since Hebrew school, the CD comes with a brief definition of what you'll hear. It includes "Zum Gali Gali," or "Song of the Pioneers," an Israeli folk song; "Ma Otsur," or "Rock of Ages," a Hanukkah song; and "Hava Nagila," or "Let us Rejoice," a song of celebration to name a few. The album is produced by Waldorf's own label Halakahiki Records, which means pineapple in Hawaiian. Ironically, a similar word in Hebrew, "Halakhik," can be loosely translated to "honoring Jewish tradition." The Meshugga Beach Party Band will perform at the Hotel Utah in San Francisco on Sunday, June 22. Until then, Waldorf will be practicing and collecting more kitsch for his 1960s ranch-style home (complete with shag carpet and wood paneling) on a lagoon in Alameda. The two have about 3,000 items available at www.kookykitsch.com. But they are constantly scouring garage sales, thrift stores and flea markets for new kitsch, which is defined as "cheap, tawdry, tasteless things, pretentious, junky, but popular." Sometimes Lindsey has had to stockpile hot dogs (she's a vegetarian) or sugary cereal in order to get labels or box tops, redeemable for more stuff. So, if you're looking for a Hello Kitty plush puppet, an Energizer bunny squeeze light, Smurfette drinking glasses from 1982, Farrah Fawcett shampoo or Clearly Canadian salt and pepper shakers, chances are it's on the couple's Web site. There are also larger items: uniforms, appliances, electronics, movie books, vintage magazines, and watches and clocks. OK. But why? "It's goofy, it's fun, it's a hobby where you can't get into trouble. And there is no end to the stuff you can collect. And you get a good laugh out of it. We can show just about anyone (over 30) anything and they'll get a good laugh out of it, too. It's a lot of nostalgia," said Lindsey. Waldorf has a special fondness for the Hawaiiana and tiki-themed kitsch. "The thing that keeps me interested is there is something so exotic about Hawaii Five-O and here I get to live it," said the native New Yorker, looking past his lanai and backyard lagoon. "I have a palm tree outside and my California girl." Lindsey also has a favorite item: the Fleet EneMan doll, which she acquired after writing a letter to the company explaining her love of their products. "It's so preposterous that there is a doll that celebrates enemas," she said. Ther two have also installed a few pieces of permanent nostalgia in their home. A working payphone is attached to a living room wall and a "magic fingers" massage device is in the bedroom, a Valentine's Day gift from Waldorf to his wife. Their favorite alarm clock is the old-school type, where the numbers "flip" each minute. Oh, the good old days.